Why can't I just have what I want when I want it without the hard work?! I love and accept his blessings. Whohoo send me the blessings! But, it's His love that overpowers the weight of the hardships. When the Lord draws close we can conquer through all things.
When our hearts and our families eyes are focused on Jesus we have hope and can see through the trials. One day at a time. Give us today our daily bread.
On the outside it looks amazing for us. My husband and I truly love and adore each other and have a fantastic and fun marriage. I was offered my dream job as a social worker at the hospital. We were able to save enough money and bought our forever home. That's a good 3 months, right?! Yes!!
Along with these amazing gifts came an onset of very scary and unexplained panic attacks with my husband.
Getting fired unexpectedly and unjustly from a previous job that I loved.
And being homeless for 2 weeks over the holidays while our rental agreement ran out and our home required 2 extensions to close!
I kept asking, why is God pouring these blessings on us?! I don't deserve these! But....at the same time...why is He giving me all these blessings but then allowing life to be so difficult as well?! Haha! I was ok not having a new home. I would have been ok not closing. But, not having a home at all was a little much!
I don't know. I honestly don't care. Through this there is one truth that has stuck close to our hearts. Song lyrics from a worship song I love:
Your love is higher than the mountains,
the plans that you have made are good and true,
if you call us to the water you will not withdraw your hand,
We fix our eyes on You and we will come
Through the panic attacks our family has learned that it truly is each other and relationships that are built that matter most in life. They have made our marriage stronger because we depend on each other. It's made my husband stronger as he depends on God daily to survive anxiety. Being fired taught me humility, forgiveness, as well as doing the best you can at your job each day while you have it. Being homeless taught me that I have really great godly friends who will take us in! Ha! But also, about patience. Home is truly where your family is. It's not about the house itself, but about the friendships that are going to be made in it!!