I was getting my hair done and, of course, could not wait until I got home- I had to look at the couples that very second. Even though Chris told me not to. I have been praying for this moment since this begin! The link to the first couple was broken so I went to the second couple.
Immediately fell in love.
That worried me. What if both couples were a perfect match? How could we be the ones to decide who gets a baby sooner. Sad! Oh, the pressure!
I was sent the other couple's profile once I got home. They were from the states. I didn't even want to open it and learn about them because I kinda already had my heart set on the first couple. I didn't want to read their story and have my heart break for them and not do anything about it. These stories just burn into your heart and mind. It wouldn't have been wise not to look at our options (if neither would have fit we could have been re-matched) so Chris and I opened it together. They were so sweet! We just felt like a lot of their interest/personalities were good but just wouldn't click as well as the other couple. I just couldn't stop looking at them though, it's really heartbreaking.
As of right now, I'm not allowed to disclose personal information about the couple we did choose- but I can give some of their story! They are not from the United States (although speak excellent english). Honestly, you would never guess their country if you had 10 guesses, haha! I even had to look up the location on the map.
It did scare me a little bit having someone from outside the US. Would I need an interpreter? Would customs be so different we couldn't connect? But, from their profile, they just seemed like the perfect match. I wasn't too picky about what I wanted...but i'm so relieved and so beyond happy/excited to have people that I can connect with on a friend level! We just had to trust that we felt lead to them, we loved their profile, and felt like they would be the best parents to work with for us....and that everything else would work itself out.
Once we confirmed our match, my profile was sent to them. I didn't hear back for like 4-5 days. I was like "ok, guess they didn't like me". All of the sudden I get a call from the counselor who wants to Skype...like right then and there with them. Thanks? Good thing I had my hair and makeup done because that rarely happens! However, it was almost 5 our time and 11 their time so we postponed it to the next day (today)!
About the parents----
They have been together/married for a total of 14 years. They tried years to get pregnant- but did not succeed. She had tried rounds of IVF and was informed she needed an operation to remove a cyst found on her ovary. When they were on vacation results came back that she had cancer. In order to remove all of the cancer they had to remove her uterus and ovaries. They tried adoption and were on a waiting list for years. They wanted to start a family and in their country it is common to wait up to 6-8 years. She said when you get the child they are older and she didn't want to miss out on bonding, attachment, and their baby trusting them. So they pursued surrogacy.
For their son it took 4 rounds of IVF....but he was born healthy. They didn't get to visit and see the ultrasounds for him and that's something that she is SO excited about. To see her baby moving on the screen. Tears were shed (obviously from both ends!). After their son they wanted to have a sibling for him. They lost that pregnancy during the last few weeks. Tragedy.
They said it made them closer as a couple and didn't stop their dream of having a family. They chose to come to the US for better doctors and healthcare. She has to find a egg donor here to start that process over. She says it's something that she is ok with doing and understands.
Seriously, their attitudes are nothing but gratitude and gentleness. When we were on Skype I just could not believe how beautiful she was (both inside and out). She kept saying, "I want to know everything, I don't know what it's like to be pregnant so I want to know it all" and when she asked how long it took us to get pregnant she said, "don't feel bad! I have friends like that...that's just how it is for some people and it's ok!".
Details :
* They will come to the United States 3-4 times. Once to meet us in person and meet the fertility doctor. They have chosen for me to attend the fertility clinic in Maryland... so that will be a lot of traveling until IVF is over. He is supposed to be one of the best and we want a healthy baby, so that's ok. They will come at the beginning of the pregnancy to the ultrasound, the 18 week ultrasound, and at the birth Following the birth, they will have to stay in the US for about 2 weeks until baby can get cleared to fly back.
* They only want to implant one embryo to give the baby the best chance at a healthy pregnancy and birth I can handle one baby... would kind of freak out if there were 2!!!
*Want to send us pictures after the birth and keep in contact. They want to be part of our family and both said "there are no words. we have none to tell you how thankful we are that someone would do this for us"
BOOOHOOOO already crying and i'm not even on the hormones yet.
* They still have a few things to get in place before they can schedule flights/Dr. appointment for me and a meeting in person. I think they need to get contracts with their lawyer, egg donor and all thats involved with that... After I meet with the fertility Dr. I think it will take approximately 4 months to conceive? Don't hold me to that. Good news is that for the first time I will not be massively pregnant during the entire hot summer!
I feel so blessed and grateful that this match was everything we prayed for. I'm just ready and anxious now. I'm not expecting a totally easy road so I will enjoy this happy place for now :)