I even have a pumpkin cheesecake candle.
If my house is clean, I feel like my life is organized.
If my house looks like an episode of hoarders I want to lay on the couch all day, eat chocolate, and binge tv. I skipped the gym today and used that time to really clean. Either option was pretty terrible....but cleaning seemed to be the least painful.
Today, I went for my last ultrasound/bloodwork in Louisville before the transfer (October 1). They wanted to check my uterus to see if the estrogen was making it "fluffy". That's really the term the medical team uses. I'm starting to really like the monitoring clinic. I have been 3 times and each time I've had the same blood and ultrasound technician. I am always in and out within 30 minuets. It's comforting to feel like you know people, ha!
I love Louisville. It's one of the reasons I am choosing to give birth there. After my appointment, I was able to walk a block away to see a dear friend who has two of her babies in Kosairs hospital battling an E. Coli infection. As I was leaving, a young male cancer patient gave me a poem he had written about the love of his mother during his dying and how that has healed his pain. Tears for days. Even in all of the bad things in life....God still shows us such beauty.
For a transfer they want your lining to at least be a '9'. Mine was a 8.4 today. Vivian, my nurse from Shady Grove, called after the results were in and said that the number was ok (the least number they would take) and that it still has time to get to a 9 before the transfer in 2 weeks. 2 WEEKS! AH! I am so relieved my body is responding well and we can move along without having to add or change things up.
At my last ultrasound, about 2 weeks ago, I was told that I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). The tech said she had counted over 40 cyst on one of my ovaries. I suddenly felt very mad, ashamed, and frustrated. How can someone try to be so healthy, exercise, eat clean, and yet still have problems? Story of our lives. Feeling like you are the one who diseased, you are the one who's body is failing is a surreal feeling. Kind of like the teenage moms who thought, "this could never happen to me". Kind of like having a cesarean when planning a natural birth. Life happens. It won't affect the surrogacy/pregnancy in any way she said. In fact she said, "If you want to be an egg donor in the future that would be great because you have so many". PCOS is pretty much a hormone imbalance and causes problems with periods and leads to infertility. I truly feel so fortunate that I was able to quickly get pregnant and have my babies young. It's crazy to me how fast your body can change those things. At 25 i'm falling apart here.
When I was getting my blood drawn today it was the first time I have felt dread. Maybe it was because it was 8:30am and I hadn't had enough coffee. PS they have the best coffee flavors in the waiting room. Blueberry Maine was my choice today. At the thought of another needle, I just wanted to just throw my head against a wall. There's always that sense of dread right before you get poked. Even if it doesn't hurt.
Needles. Once you're pregnant....not just in surrogacy....you better make friends with them.
Over the last couple weeks I stopped birth control, finished my week of Lupron, and begin taking Estrace and Del Estrogen injections. The clinc and the intended parents say the egg donor is progressing well and everything looks great with her eggs! The Estrace tablet is every day and the Del Estrogen injections are every 3 days. I actually messed up and took double the estrogen tablets for 2 weeks! She said it wouldn't hurt anything. Maybe i'm glad I did since my lining was on the low end anyway.
My husband gives me the injections. Shady Grove has video tutorials for each injection that I made him study like 5 times. Do you see the angle of the needle? Study that! I should have videotaped the first time we did it. He was sweating and I was jumping around the room totally panicking like a 5 year old child. He had to grab me and shake me into my senses. For the 2 inch needle...you don't feel anything. Well, minus the time he stuck me in my muscle...that hurt. At first, the injections were exciting. I really felt like we were moving along in this whole process. Now, I just want to be done with them and have a normal pregnancy!
SO HAPPY to be off that birth control (Cyclafem 1/35). I gained 11 pounds in a month while on it! Every other day when I would weigh it just kept flying up. Listen, I know you gain weight during pregnancy. I just didn't want to gain this much before! My face was swollen, I had migraines, moody; it was pretty much evil. Once I stared the Lupron with it...it was like magic. I felt so much better. Normal. I was terrified to start the Lupron injections but since I was only on them a week or so I noticed no changes at all.
Everyone always ask me if I'm crazy or hormonal....i'm really not. I feel completely the same and have no side effects. Well, I drank one margarita at a resturant and it made me dizzy and sick so probably should stay away from alcohol. It's just estrogen so I actually feel a bit happier than normal! The first 2 days of the Estrace tablet I had a ton of pressure and lower pain, but that went away. The estrogen hasn't caused any weight gain or bloating....but the hormones have. The thought of broccoli, fish, salad....anything that's not cereal makes me sick. I suppose I could be super strict but I can not stomach the thought of real food. I only want bread or I would rather starve. Female hormones at its best here.
I start Progesterone oil very soon. That's what I've heard all the bad things about. The Dr. said that may be the one to make me crazy. Apparently the oil doesn't dissolve well in the skin and can be painful for days. There are a ton of tips I've heard from other surrogates. I'm figuring the progesterone in the birth control is what I've had such a bad reaction to earlier. I'll be on Progesterone until like 8 weeks post pregnancy. If you see me looking like a stuffed sausage and growling at everyone...just give me a hug. Well, and maybe a brownie too.